After getting my results in May I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’d hoped to get a better grade that I did and whilst it wasn’t that far off I kept questioning if I could have done anything better.
This led to me not picking up my camera and not having the motivation to make any new work.
Then I had the Graduation Day which was incredibly emotional, and I was incredibly proud to have even gotten this far, but somehow I still felt like I didn’t belong, I had a serious case of imposter syndrome. That everyone else that was on the course with me somehow had more right to be there than I did as they got a better grade than I had.
The fact that I had gotten a new job on the back of gaining my Masters, which in fact does have the need for photography and also videography and retouching and editing would be a very important part of my role – I still don’t think it made me feel any less of a fake.
So I decided to go back to basics, I started completing the camera school tasks in the monthly magazine I get, but in an even bigger statement I decided to go back to basics and go back to BTEC HNC Photography and relearn my craft.
I still have the desire to apply for PhD to investigate the links between mental health and creative outlets such as photography. I feel like this is something that I really need to explore further.